I should have quit when I had the chance. Did the right thing when I had the chance. Made a choice when I had the chance. Loved when I had the chance.
So I went through some old text posts on this thing. I feel the need to write now. Senior year is coming to a close. SO much has happened this year. I didn’t go into this year expecting any of this to happen. I’ve had my mishaps here and there, but this..was something else. I literally broke every rule I’ve ever set for myself, changed up my thoughts, morals, aspirations. Everything. I never knew I had it in me. Hurt this year has not been a distance thing. Indeed, hurting is inevitable. This kind of hurting has cut deep and made me realize how much one can actually take before they reach their breaking point. I’ve met mine, I’m not sure how I’ll return to sanity. I want to, but now sanity almost seems unattainable and unrealistic. I miss the state of clarity, sanity, serenity. So much to do with myself before I start college. I need to do justice to myself. I know all I can be, I just somehow have to get myself there. It may not be easy, but it will be worth it.